Late People

I am a late person. I go to bed late. I sleep in late. I arrive late. I stay late. I work late. I eat late...

I set my alarm clock forward by an unknown number of minutes (close my eyes, hold the minute button, try to ignore the change) so that I think I am running later than I actually am, so that I hurry to get ready. I push the snooze button at least 5 times before I ever get fully out of bed. My alarm clock has an extra long nine minute snooze, so this equates to at least 45 minutes of snoozing. This requires me to set my alarm at least an hour earlier than I actually plan on getting up. I have to have a clock radio (regular buzzer alarms won't wake me), and the volume on the radio has to be full blast (or else it won't wake me). My wife uses a normal moderate radio volume to wake her up, which I never hear. Then she resets it for me and turns the volume all the way up. Sometimes in my snoozing period I will unwittingly turn the alarm off, dreamily thinking that I am getting up, or that I am pressing the snooze button again. This invariably transforms lateness into absence. Once I'm in the truck, the clock there is set several minutes forward as well, just to add a little more pressure to my drive.

My dad never uses an alarm clock. He just automatically wakes up at 6am. Even if he doesn't want to. He can't help it. He is an early person. He goes to bed early, wakes up early, arrives early, leaves early... Early people annoy me. And I'm sure I annoy early people. Just ask my dad.

I think it must be genetic. I am adopted, so I didn't get the early gene from my dad. He can't help being early. I can't help being late. I have come to accept this. Yes, even embrace it. I am predetermined and predisposed to lateness. It is who I am. I am Ken. I am late.

From our earliest days (no pun intended), we are conditioned to view late people negatively. Lateness is punished. Late people are discriminated against. We are called bigoted names like "lazy" and "sleepyhead". We are passed over for promotions in our workplaces, given demerits and detentions in our schools, treated as second class citizens...

Well no more. It is time for the Late People of the world to rise up in unity together and demand equal treatment. No longer will we accept the chides and jeers of the early people. No longer will we accept the negative myths they propagate about us. God has made us Late People, and we will be PROUD!

"A New Command I Give You..."

My friend Mark posted this as a comment, but I thought it was so good I wanted to post it here. This is something we ALL need to learn! I keep reading it over and over. It is still sinking in...

Matthew 28:19-20 (Mark's Paraphrase)
"Therefore go and fail miserably trying to beat others into submission of your own personal view of what I am saying. When you cannot win them over with suave and persuasive language which is empty in comparison to your feeble attempt to DO what I have commanded in your own life, then be bitter and negative about others while my spirit stands by and waits for you.

Then when you come around and remember when you first loved me, and how you loved others easily because you didn't know crap about the Bible - you will know that I am with you always until the end of the age. Others will teach you more than you will teach them, EVERY TIME you meet someone."